Telling your children about your divorce

Discussing divorce with your children is every parent’s nightmare, but it’s a necessary conversation that needs to be approached sensitively and age-appropriately. Here are some tips to help you talk to your children about divorce:

• Schedule a family meeting: It’s best to have both parents jointly schedule a family meeting to talk to the children together. Pick a time that allows the children to emotionally process the situation and understand what the plan is for the family. Repeat this step throughout the divorce process.
• Be honest: Children can sense when something is wrong, so be honest about what is happening. Use simple language and avoid blaming language.
• Remain calm: Children look to you to determine how they should feel, so try to remain calm and confident about the situation.
• Reassure them: Let your children know they are loved and that the divorce is not their fault. Reassure them that both parents will still be a part of their lives and that you will work to maintain their lives as much as possible.
• Listen to them: Allow your children to express their feelings and concerns about the divorce. Validate their emotions and let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused.
• Avoid sharing too much information: Be honest, but avoid sharing too much adult information that may be inappropriate or overwhelming for them.
• Maintain routines: Try to maintain your children’s routines as much as possible, such as their school and extracurricular activities.
• Have check-ins often: Continue to process with, talk to, and listen to your children throughout the entire divorce process.
• Seek professional help if needed: Consider seeking the help of a mental health professional who specializes in working with children and families experiencing divorce.

Remember, every child is different and may react to the news of divorce in their own way. By approaching the conversation with sensitivity, openness, and nondefensiveness, you can help your child navigate this difficult time and adjust to the changes ahead.