Reducing Toxic Stress

Reducing Toxic Stress

Standard MicroLearning’s High Conflict Co-Parenting Divorce Certificate Video Online Course is now available for $49.99!  Our High Conflict Course was developed and is led by Dr. Justin D’Arienzo, Clinical and Forensic Psychologist, and Divorce Expert. Divorced and separated families all have different levels of conflict. These levels range from minimal conflict to high levels of conflict with periods of cooperation to periods of extreme conflict. However, some families are entrenched in constant conflict, and denigrate each through their children, texts, emails, phone conversations, and physical interactions. Fortunately, our high conflict coparenting course can assist you in managing this difficult situation including learning how to successfully manage your coparenting relationship. Read more on what we have to say about the impact of Toxic Stress below:

What is Toxic Stress? As you may know, not all stress is equal. Children are exposed to all types of stress. Some stress is healthy and helps children learn to adapt or function, similarly to learning a new skill, joining a group or team, or even receiving a vaccine. New situations have the potential to cause anxiety. Although adults need to remember that all anxiety is not bad (as it is a valuable tool that helps children learn, grow, and mature), anxiety in some situations is inherently negative and results in potential loss or injury. Stresses are tolerable and will not have chronic effects if they are short lived and the child has significant support from adults they love. Imagine a stressed child having no where to turn.  

Family violence and significant conflict between parents may expose children to many fearful, traumatizing, scary, and confusing experiences. Research shows that when children are exposed to chronic conflict, this conflict can have a significant impact on their ability to manage their emotions and remain calm. It is possible that they may forever be affected in the way they are able to manage problems and experience upsetting emotions throughout their lifetime. 

Imagine being a child living with constant fear and worry. This child’s stress wears and tears their developing brain, and they begin to misread any human interaction as if the situation will blow at any moment. When a child perceives the world and others as dangerous and/or uncontrollable, they often find it difficult to trust and create meaningful relationships. 

We know that over time, toxic stress directly impacts the structure of the brain. This can lead to problems with self-regulation, learning delays, anxiety, addictions, memory problems, and other health problems. Remember that the brain does not stop developing until children reached their 20’s, meaning that older children are also impacted by high conflict parents. 

Reducing this type of conflict is not easy to achieve. Otherwise, we would not have these types of courses. We know that it takes a  great amount of energy and commitment to change how we ourselves co-parent. Hopefully, you are more motivated knowing the deleterious impact of toxic stress from high conflict parenting has on your children. 

Anger Management Tips

Anger Management Tips

Standard MicroLearning is the Leading Provider of Anger Management for online Anger Management Courses. We offer help for disruptive physicians, disruptive employees, disruptive lawyers, and for other disruptive professionals. Take our 4 Hour Online Anger Management Course for just $20.00 or our 8 Hour Online Anger Management Course for $49.99 today if you need court ordered anger management, or your place of employment or your spouse has recommended or referred you to participate in anger management. Our courses are fast, efficient, and informative. Read on to learn some of our favorite tips on handling anger:

Think before you speak

When you’re upset, it’s easy to say something you’ll might later regret. Take a moment, a breath, or a walk to collect your thoughts before saying anything. Consider taking a pause before reacting and allow those involved in the situation to do the same. This will assist in helping all parties avoid lashing out.

Express your concerns when calm

When you find that your heart has stopped racing and you can think clearer, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others. You also don’t want to come off as controlling during your interaction. Criticizing or placing blame might only increase tension. Instead, use “I” statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific.

Find solutions using problem solving

Instead of focusing on what upset you, work on resolving the issue at hand. Did your spouse leave dishes in the sink again? Discuss a chore solution that might be more beneficial. Your best friend is repeatedly late to meet you? Mention how it makes you feel and express that want for understanding. Also, understand that some things are truly out of your control. Try to be realistic about what you can and cannot change and remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.

Don’t hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger to overshadow positive feelings, you might find yourself spiraling in your own bitterness or sense of injustice. Forgiving someone who angered you might help you both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship. Holding a grudge will only increase hurtful feelings for yourself and can cause unintentional continued conflict.